that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize