question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I came so hard my ears popped.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
