We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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