Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
