..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
