yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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