Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
