I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
