Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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