We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
