what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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