When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
