I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
