thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
