went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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