Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
