i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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