She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
