new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
