i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
