i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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