that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
