Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
this boner is exhausting
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
