please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
