Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
