drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
