Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
