This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
