I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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