My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize