You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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