I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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