i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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