as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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