Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
