so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
