those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
im six kinds of drunk right now
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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