Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
