So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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