quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
