hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
