whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
