i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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