What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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