I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
