it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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