After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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