Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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