I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so let's talk penis.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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