Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
