I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
